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       Hilda closed the mailbox, with her eyes fixated on this latest delivery from the classical music catalogue. She knew that Beethoven had once been her lover, her wildly passionate lover, whether through a past life or a dream fugue did not matter. 
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    She toured Vienna seven times seeking his ghost. She obsessively counts 60 grains for her morning coffee just to share his eccentricity. She hired a calligrapher to script the lyrics of "Ode to Joy" as wallpaper border in every room of her house. She sometimes shoves quilt batting into her ears to mimic his deafness. She plays the Ninth Symphony loud enough to trigger neighborhood outrage. And still he does not appear. 
       Hilda hurries home now, anxious to play her newest symphonic recording. She arranges the Dolby speakers in a tight semi-circle before sprawling on the carpet.  Despite the planned elegance of his "Minuet in G," Hilda twitches. 
     Looking up at the textured ceiling, she cries, "Beethoven, my lord, my master." Hilda shake her fists toward the heavens, just as he is rumored to have done from his deathbed. She aims for self-induced seizure, for an orgasm of the earlobes. 
       Far off, at the perimeter of her senses, the phone rings nine times. Hilda does not answer. Beethoven would never contact her in such a fashion, yet her mind leaps forward. As if the spirits of dead musicians allowed her to traverse time and space, Hilda is suddenly in the kitchen, holding the Yellow Pages spread open to the letter B. That's B for Beethoven. Peter Beethoven. 
       She grab the roots of her hair: half terror and half salvation. 
      Hilda shivers while dressing. She rushes to the listed address and pounds desperately on the door. Perhaps someone who cared less would not have seen the family resemblance, but Hilda knows instantly that his genes stand before her. His blood. Perhaps a great-nephew, eight times descended, with the same wild black hair and stocky frame. She notes the exact dimple on the right side of his chin and the tiny facial scars. 
      Hilda drops to her knees. Peter Beethoven looks sleepy and puzzled. She rubs her  cheek against his trousers. 
      "Don't you recognize me?"  Hilda need no answer.  Her words race on: "I've loved you enough. I've conjured you repeatedly. Ludwig's progreny is mine." 
      Peter Beethoven eases Hilda out of the entryway. Silently, he shuts the door. 

 
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Introduce me to Peter Beethoven. 
Does this town have a psychiatric hospital?