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| Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six |
      Looking forward to a long weekend in the garden, Gregory VanHauser expected to find the latest issue of Miniature Roses Unlimited in his post office box. But instead, he found the oddest little card.
       A faded valentine, the cheap type that kids exchanged in school, this one featuring a teddy bear holding a giant heart. On the reverse side, some unknown admirer had carefully trimmed and glued a laser-printed message. 
I've watched you secretly day after day . . . . 
If you desire a full-bodied, angelic, and sophisticated woman, please respond 
immediately by postcard to Box 148. 
      Dear God, he thought, who the hell is harassing me now? Memories of junior high torments and college pranks grew vivid, until Gregory shook his head and refocused on the valentine. Eight months past the romantic holiday, a cursed day full of hand-holding couples, a day that he always spent alone. But Cupid's arrow can pierce the thickest barriers. For a brief moment, Gregory let himself admit that solitude was not always his chosen path. 
       He read the message again, studied the silly bear as if some clue might be found, and then could not resist reading the message just one more time. His lips moved slightly, and his cheeks felt warm. Gregory slipped the valentine into his pocket and turned to leave the post office. 
      Standing against the wall, staring directly at him, stood a pretty woman in a plaid kilt. He nodded once. She blushed deep crimson, lowering her eyes. How foolish he felt. As if she could be the admirer. As if any woman wanted some flower-growing, weed-plucking man, made awkward by years of shy celibacy. He pulled the card out of his pocket and looked for a trash can. 
       The smell of too much perfume made him dizzy as the woman approached. Her face was bright red, tinted with purple now, with intense blushing so like his own hopeless response to almost any situation. 
     She whispered something, but Gregory was so distracted by the bloom on her cheeks that he missed the words. The redness, he realized, was the exact shade of his Queen Anne Roses, the ones that won a second-place ribbon in the County Fair two years past. 
     "Pardon?" he said, looking now at her eyes.
     Again she whispered, "Lick my stamps." Of course, a silly phrase from the bottom of the valentine message, a line as silly as the card itself. The woman's face grew even redder and strangely attractive. He feared for a moment that she would flee. 
      Instead, the woman laughed. A belly shaking laugh that rose low then high, a laugh so rich that it suited her florid face. Gregory laughed as well, and then bravely asked her name. 

 
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